; Fun! Fun! Vancouver!: March 2009

Thursday, 19 March 2009

An Evening with Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga performed last night at the Commodore and it was ridiculous and fantastic beyond belief.

But before I get into the show, can I just comment on the crowd? For the most part, people seemed cool, but there was a bunch of b*tches near us who were basically drunk hos. Why do I always get stuck near these idiots? They're the ones who are so plastered they can't even stand straight, they have to lean on you for support, or they're busy flinging their limbs every which way and hitting all those around them.

When I wasn't being elbowed, I was being poked in the face. I made a big scene about it, pretending that the girl poked me in the eye and she felt guilty and tried to apologize but I just ignored her and she kept insisting how sorry she was and couldn't I see that!!! I really wanted to just shove her over, but karma had other things in mind for this wino. At the end of the show, she had fallen onto the floor and could not get up. The floor was filthy disgusting and it was amusing to see her crawling around looking for her shoe while people were dancing about around her. Yeah, that's what you get when you're an idiot and don't care about those around you - no one's gonna give a shit if you're on your hands and knees licking up the last drops of vodka that you spilled earlier when you were busy elbowing people next to you, in front of you, and behind you.

During the show, I fought off the evil elbowing losers by breaking out into my own hyperactive dance style. The first song was "Papparazzi" which was fabulous to watch just to see her outfit. I'd try and describe it but I wouldn't even do it justice. Let's just say that the set around her acted like an extension of her dress... So the next song was "Lovegame" to which I immediately started jumping up and down and elbowing back my enemies. They didn't like how it felt so they tried to out-dance me with their asses gyrating against me, but I didn't care. I got bootie, too, and I pushed back with my own and also shouted the lyrics as loud as I could near their ears, "I WANNA TAKE A RIDE ON YOUR DISCO STICK!!!!"

I won the dance-off as they slunk away to a different corner to annoy other people, so HA!

The show itself was cool because it had all the elements of a big pop tour: video images and interludes, back up dancers, changing sets, and change of outfits. Sure, everything was lower budget, with the videos being homemade (but in a cool artsy manner) and projected onto a white sheet instead of a million dollar jumbotron. But it worked. In the small club venue we were in, it was perfect.

My favourite outfit was her bubble dress! Shouldn't we all have one of these in our closets?

She did a piano/Broadway style version of "Poker Face" which was fun but a bit disappointing that it wasn't the full on original dance version. She did The Fame, much to Bellybutton's delight. I could've done without "Nothing Else Left To Say (Eh Eh Eh)" but I guess she needed to bring the energy down a bit. She performed a new song called "Futurelove" to which she commented that some of you "scallywags" probably going to record it and put it on YouTube.

Don't even get me started on the amount of cameras being held up throughout the show, recording, snapping photos. Remember back in the day when you went to a concert and had fun, instead of watching it through your digital camera's screen?

Of course she did "Just Dance" to which she again credited Canada with making it her first Number One (she said this back in November too, when she opened for NKOTB). Oh and you better believe that those digital screen sunglasses came out in full force!!

I went ballastic again when she did Beautiful, Dirty, Rich because it was sensational. "Bang, bang, bang, bang!" People went crazy for Money Honey and stomped their feet when she went offstage before her encore.

Returning in a police-hat with the word "GAGA" on top, she sang "Boys Boys Boys" which of course is the new gay anthem!

So finally, Lady Gaga babbled some more and then said, "I know what you're all thinking. You're all thinking, 'Why doesn't she just shut up and do Poker Face already?'" The room pretty much exploded at this point as she went into the original dance version of Poker Face. This was like masturbating for two hours straight and finally, at long last, finding that release.... YES!!!

Friday, 13 March 2009

Lunch An Evening With Jan Wong

Last night I attended a fabulous reading by Jan Wong at the Vancouver Public Library. Known for Red China Blues and her Globe and Mail column Lunch With Jan Wong, the author read from her latest book Beijing Confidential in which she details her journey back to China to find the woman she had turned in to the authorities during her Maoist years.

I haven't read the book but I can't wait to read about her search, and the inevitable outcome when they do finally find one another. Wong was hilarious last night, her dry humour coming out but less harsh than it sounds when she puts pen to paper.

If you missed it, you can catch her again tonight at the Strathcona Community Centre where she is headlining a fundraiser and doing a talk about growing up Asian Canadian.


I went to watch the play Blackbird on Wednesday night. Having just read the play a month or so ago, I had no idea it was even coming to town so was excited to see that it was. This was the story of the young 27 year old woman who confronts the now 55 year old man she had a sexual relationship with when she was 12 and he was 40. Yeah. If you're looking for some controversial and uncomfortable theatre in Vancouver, this is your current best bet.

I thought it was a great production, with two strong actors and a riveting storyline, which as previously noted when I had read the play, was sometimes a bit too sympathetic to the pedophile character and made me wonder just exactly where the writer was coming from and what his intentions were. The play manages to touch upon all the different facets of the situation: the hurt and chaos caused to the victim, the shame and aftermath of the pedophile's life once things come out in the open, both characters trying to move on, the seduction of the adult figure by the younger one, and the possible ongoing cycle of abuse in the adult's new life under a different name.

The East Van Cultural Centre, aka The Cultch, has been renovated so it was nice to see part of the new building. The play takes place in the back, as the main theatre isn't open yet. The only complaint was the heat in there! Somebody needed to put on the A/C!

Blackbird plays at the Cultch until March 29.

Monday, 9 March 2009

Jan Wong is Coming! Jan Wong is Coming!

The author of Red China Blues and the Globe and Mail column "Lunch With Jan Wong," will be coming to the Vancouver Public Library this Thursday night to do a reading from her latest book Beijing Confidential. Momma, Rick and I will be in attendance and we can't hardly wait!!

Bashir Lazhar

I went to the Pi Theatre production of Bashir Lazhar this past weekend, which is a one-man show starring David Marr who was downright excellent in it. For 65 minutes, he carried the entire show on his shoulders and was brilliant.

The play is the story of a substitute teacher who comes to Canada as a refugee from Algeria. He has to console a grade six class through a tragedy while at the same time dealing with his own personal tragedies that take place beyond the classroom.

Bashir Lazhar runs at Performance Works on Granville Island from now until March 21.